Why do some people mange to achieve their goals while others don’t even come close…?
There are many factors involved in goal setting, and goal achieving, but I would like to discuss one less known factor: your emotional state
Imagine that you have decided to go on a diet. You have written out your goal clearly. You know how much weight you want to lose, and you have your plan worked out .Your daily eating schedule, and fitness routine are all mapped out to ensure that you lose that weight.
But you wake up in the morning in a bad mood. (Maybe you had an argument with a friend the night before or a run in with your boss). So what happens? You can’t seem to shake off that bad mood, and end up not doing anything that you planned for your diet.
In order to achieve goals you must be able to manage your emotions. Managing your emotions is the art of moving from one emotion to another. If you want to achieve the goals that you have set out for yourself, you must be in a positive emotional place, where you will have the energy to do the things needed to reach your goals.
There are practical tools that can be taught on how to manage your emotions.
Here is a simple exercise:
“What do I do that makes me feel good? Puts me into a good mood? Relaxes me?”
Make a list of everything you are ALREADY doing but maybe were not aware of until now.
Review this list and divide it into two categories:
- Things that are easy to do and can be done almost anywhere and any time- for example having a good cup of coffee, breathing deeply, singing, listening to music, remembering a happy event…
- Things that cannot be done in every situation but are still very effective- for example going for a swim, meeting a good friend for coffee, jogging..
Now start using this list strategically. The next time you are feeling down and want to “move” yourself out of that mood into a more positive one, take a look at your list and pick one thing to try. See what works best for you.
Come up with additional ways to improve your mood. Don’t be afraid to try out new things.
As you practice managing your emotions regularly, you will start to see that you can improve your mood, and obtain that so much needed positive energy for achieving your goals.
Yehudit Benmenachem, MSW, certified Life Coach, ADHD Coach, N.L.P. practitioner, and Strategic Interventionist, is the mother of 8 boys, living in Israel. She has taken years of professional experience, personal life experience and incorporated some of the most effective tools around to create “The Parent Teen Relationship Transformation Program”, a 5 step system for parents interested in transforming their relationship with their teens. For more parenting tips and her free guide: “How To Get Your Teen To Listen to You”, visit her website http://www.helpwithyourteen.co.il.